Ding a ling

The bikes arrived yesterday and it struck me that it has been around 15-20 years since I rode a bike on a regular basis. Anyway new toy and all that I went out and did an 18 miler this morning to break it in. I was ok on it, but when I got off I was walking like John Wayne as my bum cheeks and inner thighs were as stiff as you can get. Before the week is out I will be cracking wallnuts between my buttocks! There's a triathlon in 2 weeks in North Berwick that I might do, but the thought of cycling in my speedo's and then running is not one I or anyone watching me can look forward to...especially if it is cold....I might stick a pair of socks in!

Spotty

Chicken Pox is doing the rounds. Stuart got it and was tortured by it all last week. In 10 years time his back will look the same again, only this time with big yellow heads when he gets acne. Talking of which Andrew and Isabelle are doing sex education at the moment. Andrew tells me that a womans bum is called a vagina and there's something just above it that begins with a 'C'. That'll be curlies!

Cars

I have been having a bit of bother with the car. I parked it outside a mates house the other day over night after a party and when I returned to get it the next day it had moved about 3 ft. On closer inspection I discovered it had been the victim of a hit and run. Both the back and front were a mess. I was about to drive off when it struck me that this is Dunbar and maybe...just maybe it would be worth reporting. Dunbar police station is the very thin blue line. So thin it makes Kate Moss look like the vicar of Dibley. 'Oh yes i think someone reported that at 5.30 am' said the cop trying to give the impression there had been numerous crimes commited that night. Sure enough it had been reported and the registration plate recorded. I didn't expect to hear anything more other than they had no insurance etc.

A week later this bloke turns up at our house. 'I think my son crashed into your car. I want to pay for any damage.' After pinching myself I realised this was a bloke from one of the churches who I had once met. Anyway, to cut a long story short he coughed up and paid for the damage...well to have it written off as its not economically viable to have it repaired. So now we are down to 1 car and 1 wreck on the drive. If anyone wants a Ford Fiesta for scrap let me know. The hunt is on for a bike now and me and Emma are getting his and hers bikes.

Other visitors

If you come and visit us then you will get a mention here. Well not much else goes on around here so when we do have visitors its the highlight of our month. Earlier in the month, before Col & Shaz visited we had Rory come and stay. Rory is supposed to be taking over running camp from me, but he has been hit by a mysterious illness and might not be able to. Anyway he came up to recover in the peace and tranquility of a house with 3 screaming kids and a yapping dog....and the 12 hour coach journey home . He was a star and it was like having an aupair for the week. Despite the rumours and gossip of what was wrong with him, he seemed ok and the gangreen on his limbs and dreadful flakey skin condition were just talk. He still does have a large head though (physically not egotistically) but so has our Stuart!?! Hopefully we will see him again soon...and others. let us know if you want to visit it would be nice to see you (depending on who you are....if your surname is Smith then don't call us we will call you). Photo is of Rory trying to teach us the game of cricket.

White, Red, Blue, Purple and Red

Sunny Dunny lived up to its name this week. The thermometer reached 20 on tuesday, although it never accounts for the windchill factor. Sun, beach and sea...all the ingredients needed for a swim. It took about 2 minutes for Stuart to strip off and take the plunge at Skate Raw Harbour, closely followed by Isabelle and Andrew. The surf was good too. Whilst we were there their skin colour went through several changes. White (Scottish people's skin is whiter than Daz and Ariel put together), Red as the blood began to circulate in the icy waters, Blue as they began to freeze, Purple as they got hyperthermia, Red as they get sun burn.

The cost of holidays

It's the Easter holidays and the relatives have been to visit again. This time it was Colin & Sharon and the boys. Ready made entertainment for the kids...themselves! Basically the idea was to not spend any money as we are all skint and why should we spend money when there are loads of free things to do around here. That's why we don't go away...too expensive in all those attractions you have to pay to go in...and that's not including the gift shops. Dunbar is full of free places...although having fine weather makes them more enjoyable....like the beach for example. We did 2 castles in one day. Hailes Castle is free and by far the best hide and seek venue in East Lothian. Whilst we were there we found a barn owl...but it was dead. Isabelle came close to disecting it but it kept them all entertained for ages. Later that day we went to Tantallon Castle. We tried to get in for free with our Historic Scotland passes. Sharon became Emma and she looked well considering she had gained two extra boys since joining historic Scotland only a year ago. Colin ended up paying as he could not get away with being classed as a child...even though he was carrying a light sabre to fight the other kids with later. The other expense of the week was Sweet Occasions. It's a well stocked sweet shop and it is obligatory for Taylor visitors to go in there...oh and Smiths the bakers where Sharon and Colin's lent went pear shaped. Well to be fair on them there is not that much meat in Scotch Pies, Sausage Rolls, Bridies and Haggis Pies. It's all the bits of meat they usually throw away spiced up a bit in a pastry casing. And it is not biblical to give up chocolate, beer and wine all at once.

Living in Squalor

Andrew: Why don't we move back to our old house

Mum: Why? Do you want to live in squalor again?

Andrew: But we didn't live in squalor, we lived in Burnage.

Mr Baxter is back

I have been trying to put my interest in running to some use in my work and I have been coaching the school Cross Country Team. Basically it has meant taking them out at lunch time and givign them motivational talks (move it you lazy fat blob of lard) and trying to fire them up to win (nobody remembers the losers....sorry what was your name again child?) Seriously though missus, it has been a good month or so getting to know a few of the characters and seeing them all improve their times. I looked for inspiration. My own PE teacher was a bit of a ladies man who drove a red MG convertable. I think he was doing more than his fair share of extra curricula activity with the 5th Year girls and the games mistress. I looked elsewhere and of course anyone who watched Grange Hill in the early 80's could not help but be inspired by good old Mr Baxter. In fact I am considering a change in hair style and purchasing a nylon 2 stripe tracksuit. Here is a picture of him to remind us all of what a great man Jeffrey was.



Anyway, in the race itself we came 3rd overall. Our best female runner was in the lead until the last 400 meters when she lost a shoe in a swamp and got pipped at the post. The lads were up against some mean competition who had been trained by the Kenyan military female champion...whereas Dunbar were being coached by me....not even in the top 50% of veteran runners in Scotland. Pictured at the top is me, Mrs Lyle the PE Teacher and the team.

Don't know much about anything

I have just come back from a week of working in Dunns at Berwickshire High School. It was a Christian Focus Week run by SU and basically a team of us go in and do lessons, assemblies and concerts looking at Christianity....some might call it a mission but that sounds to preachy so I am not a big fan of it. I did pretty badly at my own school. It wasn't my fault all the teachers decided to have industrial action for most of the time I was there. It was also the time of the 1980's inner city riots and as half the kids in my school came from the riot zones of Moss Side, Hulme and Longsight then it ran over into the school day too. The result was they brought in 'community teachers'. The word 'community' was actually code name for 'crap' and most of them passed through within a couple of months leaving no positive impact on my education.

So back at Dunns I was amused to be asked to teach lessons on the subjects I failed at. The only lessons I taught this week that I have a qualification in was english (O Level) and art (16+, A Level). As for Geography, History and science.....well the words of Sam Cooke's 'Wonderful World' came to mind. Fortunately each class looked at faith issues too so I managed to get away with it and all in all it was a good week with plenty of debate and discussion with the kids. The pinacle of the week was the concert with some crazy Christian band and drama group. I hate those things but the teeny boppers love it. 220+ of them turned up. I was on crowd control...which means standing at the door chatting to the janitor and the dorks who hang around outside.

Wax on wax off!

I feel that I have not really got into the spirit of blogging and posting really useless information on it. Well what could be more interesting than ear wax. When was the last time you checked out your ears? My mum used to say 'look at that muck in your ears'. Have you ever tried it? Well digital cameras open up a whole new world that your eyes have never dared to see...orifices that have never seen the light of day! Emma's had a scratchy ear and so I had a look. At first I though I was looking at a bowl of corn flakes until I realised it was a bowl of wax flakes...well one big flake on its own. Emma is in denial that it is there so I took a photo which just about catches its flakey head. Unfortunately it is still theredespite having tried tweezers, drinking straws (suction factor) and good old crow bars (cotton buds...although I remember asking for a packet of crow bars at Boots on Burnage Lane and the assistant knowing exactly what I meant). There we go, blogging is so interesting isn't it?

George hates Trefor

My mum and dad and Bungle were up for a long weekend and brought George with them. George probably wished he'd stayed at home because Trefor just spent all his time terrorising him. If he wasn't hanging off his cheeks, he was biting his nose...and george's willy has never been so clean. Anyway I think it is Trefor's plan to rule the world of labradors by wiping out all the old ones. His first hit was Harold, so don't be surprised if you read about George joining him in the big kennel in the sky.

Lunar Eclipse

The lunar eclipse went off ok. Here is a picture of it that's a bit shaky. Blame the malt whisky for that! Also Isabelle and my mum watching it.

Bathgate Scum

I did the Scottish Masters National Cross Country race on Saturday. 'Masters' means old...over 35 to enter, so I was one of the youngest there.It was a heafty 10km race around a very muddy park and golf course and I was disappointed to come 125 out of 244. I am trying to get in the top 50% if I can and so it was disappointing to see 65 year old blokes beat me. I did have a good sprint finish and beat 2 guys who had been pestering me all the way around. Anyway the biggest pain was the local youths on the BMX track. They entertained themselves and added an extra obstacle for runners by chucking stones at them. Fortunately for them they missed me. If they had my plan was to nick their BMX and complete the race and then dump it in the bushes short of the finishing line. So that was my one and only experience of Bathgate....as in the Proclaimers Letter from America that optimistically says 'Bathgate no more'. If only!

Big Wave Day

Every now and then there is a really high tide and a bit of wind to whip it all up at the same time. It happened last week and here are a couple of photos of it. It all very exciting and it brings the crowds out to see what's going on. The bridge is at Belhaven and although it always gets the sea coming up to it, it never reaches these heights. The other is of the East Beach looking towards Dunbar Parish Church. We thought about buying the tall house just behind the wave....glad we didn't now, the washing would never get dry.

Eddy

It was half term and we put our historic Scotland passes to good use by visiting Edinburgh castle. Those passes get you into a priority queue, so whilst all the dumb Americans and Japanese tourists stand in line for 10 minutes...we just walked straight in and only had to pay 80p for our audio guide headset. If any of you come and visit then you can use them. Once inside we had a quick tour of the prisons, looked at the view and wandered around aimlessly for an hour or so. The last time we were there was for Claire's wedding and those 3 were the subject of the tourist photo's. One day I am going to hire Stuart a kilt and charge Germans £1 to have his photo. I was reminded of the panic we had at that wedding when Stuart was walking with us to the castle, Isabelle was a bridesmaid in the hire car and Andrew was supposed to be with granny. Granny arrived but Andrew didn't! As the line of tourist photographed the wedding car arrived with the bride the panic was over. Andrew was sat in the front of the Rolls Royce and he was really excited about not wearing his seatbelt.

Back at Edinburgh 2007 we headed off to the National Museum. We didn't get past the first main room where there is loads of stuff for kids. Andrew and Isabelle got stuck into the virtual formula 1 car and Stuart was an astronaught. This post is becoming a promotion for Edinburgh...but the museum is worth a visit if you go...and its free. We had decided to get the train but realised it was £20 for a family return ticket from Dunbar and they are less than hourly. Sod that! we drove to the outskirts of Edinburgh and then got the local line for £6 every 30 mins. Even better still the conductor insisted Stuart was under 5 and didn't have to pay. 'We get allsorts trying to get half tickets on here mate...last week I had someone with a beard trying to get a kids fare'. I think our honesty to pay had given him some faith in humanity. In the next holidays we are going to put Isabelle's Blue Peter badge to use and hit the zoo.

Scotland vs Wales

Dunbar has got an unusually good sports facility called Hallhill. They are so good that on Saturday they hosted an international game of rugby...women's rugby. Whilst several fools paid lots of money to watch the blokes play at Murrayfield, we paid diddly to watch Scotland and Wales finest roll around a muddy field. I didn't tell Andrew it was women's rugby as he wouldn't have gone...and I wanted to see his reaction to it. 10 minutes into the game he turns to me and says 'I see Wales have got a woman playing for them'. I replied 'yes...and they are all playing like girls'. Another 10 minutes past and the ball came over to our side and it was a chance to get a closer look at them. Only then...and he wasn't 100% sure (as was I) when he said 'Is it girls rugby?'

To be fair on the lad some of the players were quite burley and hairy and to the untrained eye could easily be mistaken for Bill Beaumont. To some extent lots of the cliches about women's rugby were actually true. Butch dykes and ugly (I can spot them a mile off...for all those years working for Stockport Council it was an all too familiar sight). There was however a few posh horsey types who had obviously come throught the ranks of the Edinburgh private schools like Watson's, and one or two slightly more fem looking characters. It has to be said Wales was the better looking team...and they won so better at the game too. however I don't suppose there is much market value in looks in this game. Regardless of image they looked like they were having a good time, and the punch up's were very entertaining. Isabelle came to watch it too, but thankfully she was not that interested in pursuing the sport.

Anyway, we have got another international there on Friday. Scotland under 15's vs Hibs Under 15's football. Andrew's footy coach is also Scotland's U15's national coach and has arranged the fixture. Andrew and the boys are hoping to get picked to be the mascot. We will see.

Snow Time

It's been snowing and as the schools are only in for half days on Fridays, we decided to head off for some sledging. In Dunbar itself it was cold and wet, but only a couple of hundred feet higher and 15 minutes drive away were hill cloaked in the white stuff. We decided to head for Aikengall Farm (former residence of the MacDonald's) as we knew of some good hills. We took our Fife County Council wheelie bin lid that I had found last year washed up on the beach. It was ideal for sledging as long as you didn't lean forward and allow its lip to dig in. Fife'ers don't just chuck their litter in the sea...they chuck the bin in too! After an hour of mucking about I noticed Stuart was now a blue colour and was complaining about being cold. I took his wellies off and about 3 pints of ice cold water poured out. He spent the next 2 hours crying as he thawed out. Trefor liked it all and Isabelle and Andrew made a few poor attempts at building a snow man. Whilst we were there we met the residents of Emma's old house who were unable to resist coming out to nosey at us strangers.

Last night it was the running club annual dinner. Someone decide to have it at one of East Lothian's most remote restraunts...up in the hills at a place called Garvald. Needless to say the snow there was also pretty thick and the journey back was a bit dodgy. Today it's just wet and cold...really wet and really cold. Poor Emma has been conned into running a cross country race and is off to Falkirk to run in the cold, whilst I keep warm doing this. here are a few pictures of the kids in the snow.

Bible Brainiacs

Richard's Club is no more! But it's been rebranded as the Bible Brainiacs and is going from strength to stregnth. On monday we had a record number of 67 children in. I don't know why they come, but they do. On Friday we took 23 of them to Mussleburgh on a trip out to join up with all the other Scripture Union groups in East Lothian. Friday was also the Primary 4's (8-9 year olds) assembly. I have been working with 3 classes on the theme of friendship and playground games.

One did a clappy rhyme song that we made up. It took me a couple of weeks to realise that one of the lads was Polish and didn't speak English. never mind he enjoyed it anyway. The other did a piece of drama based on a skipping game. Remember I have not done drama with P4's and I quickly realised that they are hard work. To add to the pressure I am a youth worker who really is only interested in the process, not the product. Try telling that to a primary school teacher. As teachers go they are the most attentive to detail. Several have confessed to me that they are control freaks and actually malfunction like a robot if they don't have control. Everything has to be spot on and word perfect. What's more, the currency between themselves is 'who has the best control method' (the strap worked ok at my school but probably more for the gratification of the head). It's quite oppressive but well meaning. If you go into a primary school teachers house, everything has a label on it...there are rotas on the walls...charts where you get stars for eating your greens...and everything is boxed in a plastic storage box. It's a strange partnership and its tempting to wind them up....although they do that to themselves. It works well though because I don't really have any control over the little urchins whereas the teacher just needs to clap her hands and they stop what they are doing. There's only one male teacher in the school of 850 kids, so I don't know if this is a woman thing, but I suspect it is. By the end of it i think we all learnt to appreciate our strengths and compliment our practicce. On top of that they slipped in the fact that the children's parents were invited to see it. No pressure?

My get out of jail free card...should all my other stuff collapse, was a video about toilet tig. It's apopular game where you are tigged and can only be freed by being flushed by a pal. Toilet Tig Terror was about the school being infested by zombies going over board playing toilet tig and everyone...including the head, janitor, receptionists and dinner ladies got roped in. My mentor for videoing is DaveTew who always makes it fun and gets everyone he can involved. Look at his camp videos if you've not already. The video went really well and through it a I got speaking to several parents who asked more about what I do. Friday night I was in need of a drink...but I am on a course of antibiotics because i have got a smelly sore infected finger. That drink will have to wait. As for the finger...yellow puss has been oozing out of it for 3 weeks now, so I finally gave in and got some pills to sort it out.

What the papers say

Somehow I managed to get myself into the local rag the other day. I had presented a report of my work to the Dunbar Community Council and I didn't ask for it but they gave me £1200. Whilst that money is not to be sniffed at, I am more impressed with the level of trust they are prepared to give to a Christian organisation. This job has been all about bridging the gap between the community and the church, and this is proof of it begining to bear some fruit at last. Surprisingly the press were not too cynical in their report, where others might have been. However, this is Dunbar and I kid you not, the headline news was how many parking tickets had been issued last year.

Wooler XC

Another Sunday where Eric Lidle would have turned in his grave. Me, Isabelle & Andrew did the Wooler cross country race on sunday around some morland, a quarry and a golf course. The juniors set off first and they both did ok. Isabelle knocked 7 minutes off last years time. Here she is going so fast her hat fell off!



I am still getting over the flu but what really held me back was the need for a dump on the last 2 miles. Not quite touching the void, but tmore ouching the cloth! At the end Andrew and his mate Martin got into a row with rivals from Gala. Lots of finger gestures were exchanged but no harm done. Wooler has the best views of the Cheviot Hills and I may well be doing a race up the one that's in cloud soon.



Only one more in the series to go and it's a really muddy one. Hopefully I'll get some pictures for you.