Not quite John Noakes

Photo: It's Andy from Blue Peter who was sat just a few croissants away from me!


Just back from a trip up north to Aviemore, the small town famed for it's skiing. I was there for the national Scottish Christian Youth Workers Conference. Because Mr MacDonald of the MacDonald hotels is one too (Christian not a youth worker), he gives us a huge discount at his Highland Resort. £90 full board for 2 nights + use of all the facilities. A bargain and it was tempting not to go to any of the conference and just sit in the sauna all weekend. However I did get along to a few seminars all about youth work and stuff like that and it was actually really good. I enjoyed meeting fellow workers from across Scotland and nicking some ideas. It was also great food and at the hot buffet the dilemma of should I have the salmon with a prawn/dil sauce or the Thai curry? The answer is to put a line of rice and veg in the middle of your plate and have both either side.

One of the big surprises at breakfast was finding a Blue Peter presenter sitting at a table. 'Andy' was in Aviemore to report on the National Husky Racing Championships. I'd just thought everyone has a husky in Avimore until I realised they too were visitors. Anyway, I was tempted to go and say hello, grab a photo, etc of the man with a Blue peter suitcase. But by the time I had piled my plate high with the full English, Danish's, fresh fruit and cereals, he was gone. Shame really as he is one of the most genuine presenters they have had since John Noakes. I made the mistake the other day of watching Blue Peter. Oh dear! Apart from this fella, the BBC have stooped to employing presenters purely on the basis of their annoying regional accent. okay, it worked for Noakes but really I don't want to have the serious issues of genocide, famine etc being presented by some Lancashire lass who would be better placed behind the bar at the Rovers. bring back Shep!

10 out of 10 for his homework scam

Our little Stuart gets a reading book to read at home every day from school. The deal is he reads it and then we sign his little book. This is returned to his teacher who gives him a star. No reading book came home yesterday as he left it behind, but on close inspection of his little book, it appeared someone had signed saying he had read it. Sure enough they had....he had! Yes at the age of 7 he has perfected his forgery skills and forged his mums signature. Now what does that tell you about her writing....it's worse than a doctors!

On the telly

Pictures: Me on the telly (left side with hat on) and Jonathan Edwards the triple jumper ending his career on cold Saturday afternoons presenting minor sporting events.

We went along to Holyrood on Saturday to watch the international cross country races. We had gone to support Andrew, one of our club mates who was running for Scotland in the under 17's race which is pretty impressive given he has only been running for about a year and a bit. Anyway Grandstand were there doing a broadcast and Jonathan Edwards was presenting it, along with Brendan Foster and Steve Cram. I tried to get in the background whilst they filmed so i could be on the telly but couldn't get the angle I needed. I went to watch the races and that's where i got my big break! As the camera follows the Ethiopian and Kenyans eating our rubbish women runners for breakfast I managed to get in the shot. So there I am...as close as I will ever get to sharing the big screen with elite athletes. As for the boy Andrew...he came 5th which was pretty good. We stuck around for a few more races and saw Stockport runner Steve Vernon come second, and I got a few pics of the celebs. Cold but a different way to spend a Saturday.

Some websites I often visit Part 1

I've ended up with far too many links in my bookmark thing on my computer...tell tale signs of me wasting hours of my life on it. Here are few that I like:

1. Part of my daily routine is catching up on the small town talk on the Dunbar Community Forum It is full of village idiots, but occasionally you get some useful bits of info, and it stirs the community up to do something. For example, I spent Boxing Day with 20 other people building a path through the muddy track in the woods behind us as a result of wingers on the forum.

2. Free music of every variety can be found at LastFM This link takes you to my awful library which got a bit out of control. It has been many years since I listened to a Yazoo album, and the Gary Glitter track was just an experiment to see how far you can push a site like this....honestly!

3. Vixy is one I use often to nick films off Youtube and places like that to use in lessons or youth clubs.

4. Scripture Union who I am an associate worker with do bible reading notes online. In fact if you want to study the bible but can't be bothered reading it you can press the 'play' button and someone from middle England will read it to you. It's a bit hit and miss, but one of the better online tools I have seen, and it doesn't have any pop up money grabbing appeals from American tv evangelists WordLive

5. Another local connection here with the local team Dunbar United Many of my Saturday afternoons are spent watching the Seasiders give it their all. There's nearly always a fight with someone on or off the pitch, the language is foul, the pies are mince, the football is thrilling, the ministers son plays for them (so does my postman). It's a must for any visitor to Dunbar.

I'll keep adding a few more over the coming weeks.

Merry New Year!

Picture: Stuart with Thomas (Sarah & Rob's new arrival) next to the plastic tree.



Well Christmas went well. All the timings were right, everyone was fed and watered in time for Dr Who and the kids were all happy with their pressies. Lots of DVD's to watch, and with the help of my projector from work, we have been having home cinema each night in the living room. Mama Mia, Dark Knight, Run Fat Boy Run, etc and then some bargain bucket under £3 ones like Jaws, Dodgeball, Airplane, and other stuff.
By Boxing Day the overindulgence of Christmas was showing on my waist. I decided to try out night running as there had not been enough daylight hours to get a run in earlier (too many DVD's to watch). With a head torch and as many reflectors as I could find to stick on me, I set off into the country lanes and actually found it okay. Without the torch it really is very dark, but great stars to see and nocturnal creatures. By Hogmany I was feeling fit(ter) for the first time in months. The back injury still niggles but I decided to run the annual Black Bun Fun Run. It starts and finishes in the pub and is a 1.5 mile race. I held 4th place for most of it, with a young lad in 3rd. Somehow I found the reserves to break past him with 20 meters to go and rob him of 3rd place. So the year ended on a racing high. After a few scoops in the pub we headed off to a big party at one of the most hospitable families in Dunbar where there was 60+ other people partying. Back home for the last 10 minutes of Jools Hollan's Hootenanny and an awful Elton John concert.

New Years Day offered another race. The Portobello Promathon, 4 miler. Still feeling fit, but slightly jaded from a late night and beer I managed to finish just 10 seconds slower than last year. But it is always disappointing to see kids beat you, and there was one little 12 year old I just couldn't catch. Then the rest of the day was spent at Emma's mates for the annual gathering of her old school friends and reluctant husbands. It was an opportunity to finish off the Christmas drinks and put a line under the festive season. That's it now for another year, tomorrow the decorations come down and the calendar (free from the milky) goes up. I should add that this year we stepped over the threshold of good taste, into the world of Christmas outdoor lights. Having vowed never to put them up, I couldn't resist a bargain when Tesco's was selling them off at £2.50 a set. The cheese has set in and they are strung up along the gutters of our garage, creating our own grotto. Inflatable Santa next year perhaps?

Also worth a mention was the disaster of the free real Christmas tree Emma got from work. Within hours of it coming into the house the needles were dropping. This coincided with the horrible behaviour of our delightful children, so with a stroke of genius, Emma told them that Christmas was cancelled until their behaviour improved, and then proceeded to take down the tree. Fortunately for them it did improve and we replaced it with a plastic one, and stuck the real one outside with some twinkly lights on it to add to our light show.

Here's to 2009!

Christmas

It's passed midnight so it must be Christmas! Well have a good one wherever you are. If all goes to plan, the kids will get up at 7am (bets on that Isabelle who normally doesn't surface until 11am will forget she is a cool 12 year old and be first out of bed waiting to open the pressies).
7.15am after a cup of something hot and wet open a few and take the dog out and make a start on the dinner. We have go 20 coming for lunch, although some are minors and never eat what you give them anyway. They would be better off with a packet of crisps, a bottle of coke and a Fab lolly than eating proper food.
9am read all the manual for the latest gadgets and test my knowledge of the Korean language.
10am Off to Spott Church for the Christmas service. Yes Spott is a place and it is a nice spot. Truth be known, this sister church of Belhaven where we worship starts earlier, which fits better for the rest of the days activities. Plus it has a choir that does a few carols to make it feel like Christmas has arrived!
11am Emma's mum and dads for coffee with all the relatives. I say coffee...that usually follows various other drinks on offer. Most of which have some levels of alcohol.
1pm head home by foot or motor (depending on what tipples we have had) and start the dinner.
3pm Family arrive, more drinks, more food and eventually sit down and eat. I nicked a couple of tables from church to fit us all in. i also picked up a bale of hay for the guniea pigs. It had been used fo rthe nativity and was going to waste. Bargain!
5pm Washing up or recline to the back room with the men, but it depends on whether they bore me to death with credit crunch conversation or not. I have been known to wash things in alphabetical order to kill time whilst the 'what about these immigrants' conversation passes.
6pm Around about now it's the Dr Who special. Hopefully silence and even a snooze.
9pm and any time thereafter everyone goes and leaves us to it.

That's the plan, but anything can happen.

Happy Christmas!

Vicar of Dibley

I had one of those Vicar of Dibley Christmas Special moments today. You know the one where she ends up having several Christmas dinners. Having just finished a fairly large sunday roast lunch at 4pm, I was at the Methodist Church at 6.30pm for a Christmas supper. I was expecting a few egg sarnies and sausage rolls, but on arrival it became clear this was going to be a full sit down meal of steak pie. However, as an invited guest i could hardly turn it down. I felt like one of those geese that are farmed to produce foie gras as yet anothe rmince pie was pushed down my throat, washed down with a glass of tangerine fizz!
After the feast, it was into the church for the carol service and nativity play. The play was written by one of the kids and involved all the local kids who did well in front of the packed church. The highlight had to be the band. 3 old blokes in black shirts, one strumming a bass, one strumming the drums, and one pressing the 'play' button on his midi file playing keyboard. The sound was as cheesy as my socks, and they kept putting the wrong one) one. At one point we were trying to sing 'Away in a Manger' to the tune of the Calypso carol ('See Him Lying on a Bed of Straw'). Yet, this informality made for a great service with lots of laughs and a different way to mark the festivities.

He's behind you!

Just got back from the annual sunday school trip to the panto in Musselbugh. It's a good local show, not like these big name things they have in big venues. The cast has been more or less the same for the last 5 years. I always like to read the programme to see what these actors do all year round. Under the section 'tv work' they all read "Take the High Road', 'River City' 'Taggart' and extra's in Chewing the Fat. But who cares, they put a good show on. We had really good seats, just 2 rows from the front. Good, that is, until the bit in the panto where they are looking for a victim to go on stage. Guess who was sat on the end of the row and effectively easy pickings for drag queen on stage? Guess no further, it was me, and before I knew it, I was on stage doing a fitness routine that involved me bending over in front of the queen. The phrase, 'he's behind you' had a new meaning for me. I then had to kiss her/him....heshe...all in front of my sunday school and minister...no tongues you understand!

Of course in days of old, the shoe was on the other foot. I don't mean I had sexuality issues, but I performed in at least 2 panto's, including one where I was playing an ugly sister. Love them or hate them I am glad to see they are still going strong. I think the most memorable one I went to was with Jonny Wooldridge, when we went to the Mormon Church Panto. He was on the pull and she was the lead role, and at one point he ended up singing 'Careless Whisper' to her on stage. The Mormons don't drink caffine, and but how was I to know when I asked for a cuppa at the interval!

For the record

Photo: You would never guess they are mother and daughter would you?


Here's some other stuff we have been up to..

Andrew had a good game of footy against Celtic Boys. Although Dunbar colts lost 7-2, Andrew scored and got man of the match for it. It's good to see him on form again after being dropped by Aberdeen FC. The next day Isabelle & Emma did the first cross country race of the season. It was really muddy and they both did well. I had to miss it because I did not want to risk my back injury flaring up. So I did a video of it instead.
Me and Emma headed off to the Rotary Club ball the other night. The 'whose who' of Dunbar were out in force for a meal and a dance. Isabelle turned 12. Our Sarah has had a baby and Emma's sister Claire has had a baby, by natural methods after spending loads of £'s on unsuccessful IVF. We will look forward to them all coming to for Christmas lunch with the other 19. Talking of Christmas, I have been asked to give the address at the Episcopal Church Service on Christmas Eve. That is a big job as it genuinely is the one time of year people go to the church...and more specifically to that service. Finally I went on the most expensive shopping trip I have had in a while today. We bought a new car...delivery due Tuesday.

Let there be light

Photo: My picture on the BBC News website last week.



I made a decision early on that I would try and get involved in the community here whenever I could. Dunbar is the kind of place that still holds on to that community spirit that many towns have lost and if people don't work at it then it is in danger of losing what can be good about it. Last week a sign appeared on the high street asking for volunteers with the Christmas Lights. The lights are a big thing here...the best for miles! I turned up at the old Corn Exchange at 8.30am, and there as already a hive of activity going on. It was quite surreal seeing all the decorations laid out ready for transfer to the top of a lamp post. The snowmen were lined up by the door as if they were trying to escape. The chimney, with Santa stuck up it was there along side the slightly dated looking 'Dunbar Lights' sign. Within the week they would be transforming the dull looking high street into a festive treat.
The community spirit was caught in the range of volunteers helping put. The lifeboat crew, the Rotary Club, the green grocer, the spud farmer, cops, fishermen...and a youthworker! Before the lights went out there was testing to be done. As many were slightly damp having been kept in storage all year, a few went snap, crackle and pop! I had every confidence in the farmers wife doing the testing, until I learnt she knows 'the basics' of electronics. Outside, a fleet of vehicles called 'cherry pickers' were in use hoisting up volunteers to the roof tops to put up the lights. With 'cherry picking' having another meaning I was slightly amused to see the Angel Gabriel and Rudolph both being 'cherry picked'. Fortunately it wasn't Mary as that could have ruined the story of the virgin birth.
Then at around 10am, everyone downed tools and headed for the local Central Cafe, where free bacon rolls and tea were on offer. I managed to get a few snaps of it all, and I sent one in to the BBC news website. To my delight it got selected and used for the photo of the day. The big switch on is Sunday night, and I expect a few thousand will come out for it. I just hope that lot I put up work.

Nicole is dumped

Photo: Kristin, my new friend


The back trouble I have been having has brought some new women into my life. First there was Judith the physio who had me down to my undies within 10 minutes of meeting her. When she told me to get undressed she did check that I had undies on as some of her clients have been known to go commando. Her advice was to do a bit of pilates. She and several other people gave me the names of good instructors, and I had several invites to join some classes. I just could not bring myself to do it. The thought of lying on the floor alongside lots of misshapen women was not one to savour. Also, pilates is a fine way of releasing any trumps you have brewing. I don't have much trouble releasing them in normal conditions, so it would be unfair to gas all these poor souls. Instead i opted for videos.
What better place to find videos than Youtube. Some people were giving me funny looks when I told them that i had found some pilates classes on Youtube, as they wrongly thought it is a website dedicated to filth and dodgy videos. I could see nothing wrong with my video, I am sure it is perfectly normal to do pilates in the buff! Anyway the main benefit of it is that you can stay at home and enjoy the company of Nicole . Nicole's little moves really hit the spot and within a few weeks my back was getting much better. But the relationship was beginning to get a bit stale. She just kept doing the same old stuff and I felt it was about time to part company. So I dumped her for a better model, Kristin. Kristin is the new woman in my life. I found her on a dusty old DVD that we had acquired from somewhere...i don't know where. Anyway she is MTV's pilates instructor and is really putting me through the paces. I can't keep up with her, and my legs won't bend like hers, but she is getting results, although I am not sure I can meet her demand to meet with her 3-5 times a week.

The good news is that all these women have helped me get back into to reasonable health. I managed the town run tonight (6-7 miles) without any discomfort, so I am going to build it up slowly. I've opted out of the cross country for now, as it starts on Sunday.

Mad weekend

Photo: Whoooo! Not the Adams family, just mine.

Some weekends are just too busy. It all started on friday with Halloween. After last years nightmare experience of 'guising' I could not bring myself to do it again. Fortunately it was chucking it down and really cold and windy so only Isabelle wanted to do it and there was no way she wanted one of us with her. Off she went with all her friends looking not much different to what they do first thing in the morning when they have rushed out of the house with brushing their hair. Stuart & Andrew were at a disco and a sleep over...not the same one as that would make my life too easy. Isabelle returned armed with a big bag of sweets which we all helped her eat.

Saturday is now taken up with Andrew playing footy and Isabelle playing hockey usually at the same time. I went to the footy and it as a good result 5-3 against Musselburgh. The hockey didn't go quite as well but Isabelle is enjoying it regardless. Then it was more footy as Dunbar United were playing a cup game that had already been rescheduled 3 times. It's the original football experience, pie, raffle ticket, horrible tea and lots of abusive fans. There's two old gits who really raise the level for shouting abuse at the ref. Then to add to the action a minor scuffle broke out with the two managers and other hanger-onners, with the ref having to intervene. Dunbar lost the game in the last minute of injury time which was very disappointing. After the game there was more fireworks....real ones this time. The annual Round Table display brought in the crowds to the football ground. I only go to see who is there as fireworks are pretty boring...apart from the last big one they always have. This years was even more spectacular because it failed to take off, and exploded leaving a small crater on the pitch and showering the crowd with hot embers. Surpisingly...miraculously there were no injuries except some skater boy whose hair got singed. He needed it cutting anyway as he looked like a big girl with that long hair! Then it was back home to wind down watching Casualty.

Sunday was the leaving service for one of our ministers Paddy. Whilst I was there on business, I would have gone anyway as she's been a good minister and very supportive of my work. The service also included communion and a baptism and an AGM. it was a long haul but we were rewarded by one of those church meals. It sounds horrible but fish lasagne is very nice and so is lime and kiwi cheesecake. After the service it was a rush to Prestonpans for a youth event that lasted all day. Back in desperate need of a drink to sign off the weekend, but only Baily's was available so that's what I got..on the rocks!

Nutter on the Bus

We had a family day out to Tynecastle on Saturday to watch Hearts play Aberdeen. This was the second fixture I had seen of these two teams this year, only this the players were Lithuanian men, rather than under 11 year old lads. A couple of people at church had season tickets and couldn't make the game themselves so we got to go.

We decided to get the park and ride bus. It's ages since I have been on a bus because I never need to go anywhere, and if I do it's usually in the car. Bus journeys are a great place to watch people, and they are also sanctuary's for nutters. Jasper Carrot once did a really good sketch called the Nutter on the Bus. It has always stuck in my memory that sketch because it is true, and here we are on the 44 from Wallyford to Gorgie when one gets on. As he got on you could see him hunting out his prey. I was sat at the back with Stuart but Emma was on her own and may has well have put a big sign on her head saying 'nutter lover'. Sure enough Ronald made a bee line for her and that was her stuck with him until one of his carers who was off duty got on the bus. She then became a distraction and we were able to rescue Emma.

Because of the tram works it took ages to get to Tynecastle and we were late. Not knowing the ground we went through the turnstiles and realised we were in the wrong end. I asked a Pole for directions but I just got a blank look. Then the senior steward ( I knew that because he spoke English) came over and started tutting because he sussed out they were not our tickets. There was no pulling the wool over his eyes that I was 'Miriam Black'. He proceeded to tell us how we could be in trouble with Lothian & Borders police...blah blah blah, but obviously realised we were actually nice people and escorted us to our seats. The game was as blustery as the weather. Lots of rowdy Aberdeen fans on the receiving end of taunts and songs about sheep! I really didn't care who won, and the 1-1 result, including a disallowed penalty made for a good game.

Back on the bus I was reminded of the other regular travellers of buses...drunks! 2 blokes absolutely steaming got on and sat at the back of the bus drinking and chatting up some poor girl who had made the mistake of sitting at the back of the bus upstairs. She might as well of put a big sign up on her head saying 'I love getting into dangerous situations that are hard to get out of'. But modern bus travel has a new feature that adds to the experience. CCTV and screens to watch what everyone else on the bus is doing. It's great, you can watch drunks without having to actually make eye contact with them and risk being drawn into inane conversation about people they hate. We finally made it back to Wallyford, our feet stinking of ale as the drunks had spilt theirs, and it was flowing up and down the bus..(at least I think it was ale...a sort of brownie yellow liquid that had a pungent smell!).

Pond Life

The old back was beginning to ease off..80% right I felt until Sunday when I went and helped out clean up the community lily pond. This involved chopping off loads of branches and trees and reclaiming a huge area that was once a pond, but has been left to ruin. There was a great sense of satisfaction in doing the clearing but all along I was ignoring the alarm bells that this might actually set my recovery back. Sure enough...'just one more log and I'm gone'. It was one log too many and now it's agony again. That said, the pilates has made a big difference and my core stability is improving slowly so I reckon I could be fit soon. I need to get fit as Emma is now running better than I am. She is looking forward to taking part in the cross country season, whereas I will be holding the coats this time. Boo!

I hate maths

Picture: O Level Pottery was really a lot of fun but completely useless to me.


I knew this would happen. Isabelle goes to secondary school and suddenly accelerates her learning and brings homework back for us to help her with. There's a fault in the system though, parents don't know how to do it. Emma has bought some books but I am already lost and feeling pretty helpless on her maths. In fact the boys are also bringing home work that I really have to scratch my head over to work out. I tried to point out to them how bad it was. At school there were O levels and below that CSE's. I got a 3 at CSE maths. 'What other subjects did you get then?' asks Andrew. 'Err well Art & English...but I went to college and got more.' 'What in?" "Art & English....and pottery". The expression of pity said it all.

What was I thinking of doing pottery? All my work was accidental as I was rubbish at it and made it up as I went along. But because the art teacher was mad, I managed to blag her that they were intentional expressions of my inner self. I also recall that the women, no matter how hard they tried not to, they kept making pots that looked like big knobs. Very expressive indeed. I had my excuses for a poor education. The teachers strike and race riots of the 1980's had a big impact on my school and academic education played second fiddle to them. I did learn how to manufacture a petrol bomb although this knowledge has yet to be used for anything useful. With the price of petrol these days I am unlikely to either.

East as much as you like

Photo: The Flying Fox

In the excitement of the marathon weekend I forgot to mention I had been away for the previous week with all the P7's in Dunbar. 133 In total. Oversized plates of energy food every 3 hours or so and hot chocolate on tap, I was glad I wasn't running on the sunday. The camp is a really good idea. All the P7's are leaving primary school and mostly going to the same secondary school. There are quite few 'wee' schools out in the villages. Schools with small gene pools but schools where the kids benefit from meeting others kids before they make the big move. So stick them all together for a week of outdoor activities and Bobs your uncle (or your dad is your uncle and grandmother as is the case in some of these villages). It works a treat and I've yet to see a better model.
My back injury prevented me from doing my early morning jogs with the hard men and indeed most of the other things I wanted to do. However, I did manage a couple of shots on the flying fox as I rightly believed the sensation of hanging in mid air might stretch my crooked back. It also earnt points with the kids who dared me to do it backwards and blindfolded and I pretended to be scared for effect. What's scary about jumping off a 30 ft platform?
On the return journey the kid in front was travel sick. Being helpful I handed him my ADSA plastic bag. ADSA being helpful put air holes in it to help your food breathe. The outcome was a small fountain of red, sour cheese smelling vomit pouring out all over the coach and the 2 kids sat wither side of the ill one. It gave me great pleasure to hand him over to his rightful owners at the end of the journey. Next year Andrew's lot go...i can't wait for that.

Bye George!

My mum and dad were up visiting with their pet lab George. He is the brother of Frank and Harold who went up to the big kennel in the sky a couple of years ago. George was on his last legs..well front ones as the back ones didn't work. He was nearly blind and miserable so it was time to let him go. Much thought went into the decision to have him put down on holiday, but one thing affirmed their plan. IT"S CHEAPER IN DUNBAR THAN MANCHESTER TO HAVE YOUR DOG BUNKED OFF!
At the vets, they explained they were on holiday. The vet said, "you must be the with that man who had his 2 labs put down last year!". How did she know? Have we got a reputation as some sort of canine serial killers? Who knows?

Anyway, not all was lost. My dad managed to fit a chair in the boot, in the space george normally occupied, and Trefor has gained a new bed, lead and a box of dog food. We had seen a taxidermist in Inverness that we had thought about contacting as I could do with a new foot stool to rest this sore leg on!

The Family Ness

Photos:
1. Our hotel room where there was pay 4 view tv!
2. The Baxters Pasta Party the night before the big one.
3. Emma glides through the finishing line under 4 hours
4. My marshaling duties
5. Trying to entice Nessies out of hiding


Well we both made it to the marathon but only Emma ran it. The old back trouble (now the left leg and groin) ruled me out. Emma however got to soak up the excitement of the pre race pasta party and expo, whilst I felt like a fraud and joined in. There was a big sign up asking for volunteers so rather than pass the next day by doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself, I put my name forward. Early night Saturday at our nice hotel...not before trying out the sauna swim jaccuzzi! Then it was a 7.00am continental breakfast for the marathoners at the hotel. Quite good really but I felt for marathon marshals like me, the full English would be more useful. Sadly that wasn't on until 7.30am so I had to over indulge on Danish pastries to get my moneys worth.

8.00am saw around 50+ buses leave in convoy to take all 2200 runners to the middle of nowhere to start the race. An impressive sight it was too. Meanwhile I reported for duty and was given my orange 'race crew' t-shirt and started off taking bookings for the 5km race. Then it was a tea break, followed by light duties of moving goody bags. This earnt me promotion to marshaling status, where I was deployed to mile 24 of the route. 'Always a lot of conflict here' said the chief marshal. It was at a junction, one of the few on route, and on a road used by those church going folk who coudn't give a toss about the marathon and insist on parking on the main route. Miserable sods, unlike those at Musselburgh who when it's the Edinburgh marathon, offer tea and coffee to spectators, runners and marshals. I had a couple of hours before the first runners would reach me, so I went for a quick 12 mile bike ride to see what was happening further up the route.

Back in position the first of the 10km runners flew past, followed an hour later by the first marathoners. Then the first conflict of the day arose when an old git wanted to park on the road I was patrolling. 'Why?' I asked. 'Because I park there every year'. Despite my newly found authority of a yellow bib, he proceeded to park there. Then arrives a coach load of Spaniards with a non English speaking driver who also wanted to park there, shortly followed by some other foreigners on a bus too big to get down that road. People trust marshals. One woman came to check when her husband was likely to pass, so that she knew how much time she had to run up a huge bill on his credit card. Others shared their medical problems, and some asked for directions. I didn't even know there was a castle in Inverness.

Steve from Dunbar came over after completing the 10km, and we went up to mile 23 and a half to see our wives pass through. Both looked good and on target for a sub 4 hour run. Then we dashed across the river via bridges to catch them at 25. I then used my power bib to get me into the VIP area and snap them both coming through the finishing line. Emma did an impressive 3:56 for her first marathon. I really did feel like a fraud as I was now limping badly. The toll of standing all day was being paid, my back was killing me. i just pretended to be one of the runners for sympathy. Then it was in for a massage and a complimentary meal, and back to the hotel. A great day was had by all and I really hope I can make it next year. Come and join us if you can.

Needing some stability

Picture: What my spine should look like...not all squashed and crushing nerves.

I did my trip to the physio yesterday (with clean undies on!). The news was not good. Basically I have been lacking in what they call 'core stability', which is the area around your abs and sides that holds all your body in place, especially your back. In short when I have been on my long runs my back starts to arch because the core stability is weak. The arching has then squashed the disc things together, thus causing inflamation around the nerves...which in turn is quite genuinely a pain in the arse! Not just there, but lower back and legs too. The cure is doing lots of work on building it up. This could mean pilates classes which looks like the most boring and slow exercise. I just can't see myself doing it but then I might have to don my leoard and head band and get down to the gym. The other is to use an exercise ball and do lots of balance work. I opted for this as its slightly more fun and does seems to bring a bit of relief fairly quickly.
This all means that the marathon is now slipping away and months of training will be lost to the wind. Now that I look at running web sites and guides, I can see there is a lot out there about this core stability thing, but I have never really paid much attention to it as the market is flooded with as many useless tips as there are good ones. It makes sense to do it, but for me its all a bit late in the day. Learn from my error if you plan to do any serious running.

That's Going to Hurt

The back has not improved, other than it's shifted into my leg and now I have various levels of pain and pins 'n' needles in it. The most painful bit is I have been forced to go and see a physio. Her name is Judith and for £45 I get to drop my trousers and she does a fairly invasive search for what's wrong. Mmm! I'd better take my mums advice as a kid and ensure I have clean undies on. 'If you were to get knocked down by a car and you had dirty underpants on, what would they say' was her motivational talk for our personal hygiene. I can see the paramedics doing all the checks...pulse..(fine)....breathing (fine).....grubby undies (filthy...call for back up and protective clothing)
My aim now is to walk, never mind run. My leg weighs a good few pounds more than my other (or it feels like it does). My application for a blue parking permit is already in the post, as is my bid for a place in the 2012 Para olympics.