Ding a ling

The bikes arrived yesterday and it struck me that it has been around 15-20 years since I rode a bike on a regular basis. Anyway new toy and all that I went out and did an 18 miler this morning to break it in. I was ok on it, but when I got off I was walking like John Wayne as my bum cheeks and inner thighs were as stiff as you can get. Before the week is out I will be cracking wallnuts between my buttocks! There's a triathlon in 2 weeks in North Berwick that I might do, but the thought of cycling in my speedo's and then running is not one I or anyone watching me can look forward to...especially if it is cold....I might stick a pair of socks in!

Spotty

Chicken Pox is doing the rounds. Stuart got it and was tortured by it all last week. In 10 years time his back will look the same again, only this time with big yellow heads when he gets acne. Talking of which Andrew and Isabelle are doing sex education at the moment. Andrew tells me that a womans bum is called a vagina and there's something just above it that begins with a 'C'. That'll be curlies!

Cars

I have been having a bit of bother with the car. I parked it outside a mates house the other day over night after a party and when I returned to get it the next day it had moved about 3 ft. On closer inspection I discovered it had been the victim of a hit and run. Both the back and front were a mess. I was about to drive off when it struck me that this is Dunbar and maybe...just maybe it would be worth reporting. Dunbar police station is the very thin blue line. So thin it makes Kate Moss look like the vicar of Dibley. 'Oh yes i think someone reported that at 5.30 am' said the cop trying to give the impression there had been numerous crimes commited that night. Sure enough it had been reported and the registration plate recorded. I didn't expect to hear anything more other than they had no insurance etc.

A week later this bloke turns up at our house. 'I think my son crashed into your car. I want to pay for any damage.' After pinching myself I realised this was a bloke from one of the churches who I had once met. Anyway, to cut a long story short he coughed up and paid for the damage...well to have it written off as its not economically viable to have it repaired. So now we are down to 1 car and 1 wreck on the drive. If anyone wants a Ford Fiesta for scrap let me know. The hunt is on for a bike now and me and Emma are getting his and hers bikes.

Other visitors

If you come and visit us then you will get a mention here. Well not much else goes on around here so when we do have visitors its the highlight of our month. Earlier in the month, before Col & Shaz visited we had Rory come and stay. Rory is supposed to be taking over running camp from me, but he has been hit by a mysterious illness and might not be able to. Anyway he came up to recover in the peace and tranquility of a house with 3 screaming kids and a yapping dog....and the 12 hour coach journey home . He was a star and it was like having an aupair for the week. Despite the rumours and gossip of what was wrong with him, he seemed ok and the gangreen on his limbs and dreadful flakey skin condition were just talk. He still does have a large head though (physically not egotistically) but so has our Stuart!?! Hopefully we will see him again soon...and others. let us know if you want to visit it would be nice to see you (depending on who you are....if your surname is Smith then don't call us we will call you). Photo is of Rory trying to teach us the game of cricket.

White, Red, Blue, Purple and Red

Sunny Dunny lived up to its name this week. The thermometer reached 20 on tuesday, although it never accounts for the windchill factor. Sun, beach and sea...all the ingredients needed for a swim. It took about 2 minutes for Stuart to strip off and take the plunge at Skate Raw Harbour, closely followed by Isabelle and Andrew. The surf was good too. Whilst we were there their skin colour went through several changes. White (Scottish people's skin is whiter than Daz and Ariel put together), Red as the blood began to circulate in the icy waters, Blue as they began to freeze, Purple as they got hyperthermia, Red as they get sun burn.

The cost of holidays

It's the Easter holidays and the relatives have been to visit again. This time it was Colin & Sharon and the boys. Ready made entertainment for the kids...themselves! Basically the idea was to not spend any money as we are all skint and why should we spend money when there are loads of free things to do around here. That's why we don't go away...too expensive in all those attractions you have to pay to go in...and that's not including the gift shops. Dunbar is full of free places...although having fine weather makes them more enjoyable....like the beach for example. We did 2 castles in one day. Hailes Castle is free and by far the best hide and seek venue in East Lothian. Whilst we were there we found a barn owl...but it was dead. Isabelle came close to disecting it but it kept them all entertained for ages. Later that day we went to Tantallon Castle. We tried to get in for free with our Historic Scotland passes. Sharon became Emma and she looked well considering she had gained two extra boys since joining historic Scotland only a year ago. Colin ended up paying as he could not get away with being classed as a child...even though he was carrying a light sabre to fight the other kids with later. The other expense of the week was Sweet Occasions. It's a well stocked sweet shop and it is obligatory for Taylor visitors to go in there...oh and Smiths the bakers where Sharon and Colin's lent went pear shaped. Well to be fair on them there is not that much meat in Scotch Pies, Sausage Rolls, Bridies and Haggis Pies. It's all the bits of meat they usually throw away spiced up a bit in a pastry casing. And it is not biblical to give up chocolate, beer and wine all at once.

Living in Squalor

Andrew: Why don't we move back to our old house

Mum: Why? Do you want to live in squalor again?

Andrew: But we didn't live in squalor, we lived in Burnage.