My blogging is being somewhat restricted due to the absence of a usable little finger. Whilst on holiday I got roped into a campsite game of footy with the Germans and Dutch. I am not sure why I played as it was all very embarrassing for the kids to see their father prance around like John Clease, and it was very hot at around 35oC. For a while I was in goals when Gerry took a shot on me. My goal keeping skills...well okay, self defence skills instinctively saved the shot that was heading straight form my face. Quite pleased with my performance I left the pitch at half time thinking of Sylvester in Escape to Victory. It was then I noticed my little finger was not quite as straight as it used to be. In fact it was curled up and no matter how many time I tried to pull it straight, it didn't.
I'd not bothered with the doctors as I didn't fancy a day trying out Italy's health care when I could be on the beach. It was only when I returned home that I noticed my bendy finger was actually stopping me from doing 2 things. 1 was pressing return on my key pad, the other more serious. I was unable to stick it up my nose or down my ear. The doctor was consulted and she sent me to the hospital where it was X-rayed and diagnosed as 'Mallet Finger'. They tell me I have torn or damaged the tendons and the treatment (which is doubtful given the length of time I took to treat it) is wearing a splint for 6 weeks.
Where do they get the 'mallet' from? Surely only Tom & Jerry actually hit their fingers with mallets? Perhaps it is linked to 'chisell thumb' and 'Chain Saw Stump'. Who knows, but meanwhile my footballing career faces its biggest setback since an off duty police woman ran me over and broke my leg!
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