Lost and found

A sigh of relief as Santa's missing sack of toys has been found in his secret hidout. This is good news as it means one less visit to the shops....hooray!

Old news, new news, any news will do.

It's been a long time since I last entered something on the Blog. The reason being that life has been very busy on every front in the build up to Christmas. Work has been a relentless round of school lessons, assemblies, special youth nights, making films and staff conferences. The last of it is this week where I am doing assemblies every morning in the grammar school and 2 carol services at the primary school (well they actually go to the church). Tomorrow I take on the role of judge in the primary school 'D' Factor talent contest (D is for Dunbar not diabolical). It's by no means a light duty...in my hands lies the self esteem of many a wanna be pop star, High School Musical extra and actors. And then there's the parents who will take the rejection of their child personally as they desperately try to compensate for their own failings as a child through their own kids.

It's also been busy with kids Christmas activities. Andrew is in the lead for the number of selection boxes aquired from all the different groups he belongs to. Santa keeps popping up everywhere I go, and we keep buying Christmas presents on his behalf and losing them. It's been good to have visitors...Sarah & Rob Graham last weekend and mum and dad the weekend before. For Christmas itself we have only got 13 for lunch as Emma's sisters are going to other places. At some point I need to go and buy some food. Emma's boycott of ASDA means early morning visits to Somerfield. Why? because they are still stocking their meat counter as if a major new supermarket never existed up the road from them. That means nobody buys it, so the next day its all marked down. Bargains galore...large chicken 87p, cod 74p, 2 packets of breaded chicken 99p. You just have to fight through the pensioners and Polish workers to get the best stuff.

Finally we are all preparing to say our farewells to Colin, Sharon and the boys who are doing a runner to Australia in January. Aparantly they are doing it to escape the church magazine rota. Somehow there's not a sense of 'that's the last we will see of them', and Emma is already timetabling a trip out there in the next couple of years. The world has shrunk with improved travel and the tinternet!

So in case i don't make it to the computer again before now and 25th December, have a good Christmas wherever you are.

Wedding dorks

One other thing I forgot to mention about Sarah’s wedding was the rehearsal. Throughout the whole thing there was a bunch of kids on the church roof. They had obviously inherited their parents genes that were evident at the Strangeways riots of the 90’s. They must be proud of them.

It reminded me of mine and Emma’s wedding when the local youths helped decorate the church by writing mine and Emma’s names on the church lych-gate in graffiti. They also nicked my uncle Harold’s taxi sign off the top of his car. We got revenge on them by unleashing Danny Love on the bagpipes. That scared them off!

Muck!

The first of the Borders cross country races got underway yesterday with a race in the English village of Norham. This is my favourite course as it takes you through marshes, cow fields and some pretty steep banks. This year the rope had been brought back. Basically the hill is so steep and muddy that you need a rope to pull yourself up. Greta fun and I came 21st out of 111. These races are not very serious and this was proven when the local farmer joined the run in his wellie’s and overalls. The kids also did a tamer version and did better than last year. The next one is in Dunbar where I am going to try and get in the top 15. As Raven always puts it…’let the challenge begin!’

That's ADSA price!

It finally opened its doors today after months...years of planning...ASDA opened its Dunbar store. Time will tell if it will bring closure to all the charity shops on the high street of Dunbar and the other little shops, but for now it is the new kid on the block and the way some locals talk about it ou would think the second coming has just taken place. Put it into perspective...its a shop that sells cheap stuff. It will never beat Mr Ullah's of Brunage Food Store. Anyway look at the photo of this multi million pound stores promotion shot. How emabrrassing for them.

Master of Disguise

It was Halloween the other day and for most of my life as a Christian I have been told how Halloween is a doorway to the occult and all that evil stuff. I have always accepted that as fact until we moved up here. In Scotland it a big event. The kids go mad for it and trick or treating (known as 'guising') is all good humoured and no real mannace is used to get sweets off the neighbours. In fact I drew the conclusion that celebrating Halloween is as much likely to cause a kid to fall prey to the occult, as selling Christmas cards at ASDA is going to cause someone to turn to Christ. Yes of course there are loads of other dangers but the kids round here always have an adult near by in case some perv lures them into his/her lair.
For Stuart, Halloween is the highlight of the year as he gets to dress up. He found good use for his wedding jacket....Dracula! Then my morals were put firmly to the test. Should I let him go guising? It was then I realised most kids in Dunbar know who i am through my schools work. So if I was to do it I had to go in disguise myself. So off i went dressed as a mummy wearing a balding grave diggers wig and a grey cape. Even with that on and no possibility of anyone recognising me I felt such a tit. The first door was knocked and my neighbour appears staring at Stuart (also masked) and then at me. He had no idea who I was but was clearly initimidated by the scene and ran in and gave Stuart a hand full of sweets. The next house was the same...and so on. It was as near to becoming an armed robber as i will ever get...masked and armed with a dangerous child. I couldn't believe how easy it was to get a bag full of sweets...but at the same time how embarrassing it was. We reached the street where one of the local fundamentalist Christians lives...and it was there I chickened out and returned home in case she tried to exorcise me or something.

Dunbar Crime

Andrew had his first encounter woth Dunbar crime last week. He had left his 2 month old bike at school to go to his mates house. When he returned it was gone. We checked with the janitor at the school to see if CCTV had picked anything up...but no as it switches off at 5pm! Useful CCTV that is then? Anyway having driven around some of Dunbar's higher crime rate areas...there aren't many so it didn't take long...we decided to report it to the police. To our surprise sat behind the counter was Andrew's bike in full working order. Someone had handed it in after they found it near the railway tunnel. It's just over a month until Christmas...it was a brand new bike...these acts of honesty don't really happen do they? What was even more amusing was that the police didn't even ask me for proof of who I was. They just handed it over.

Wedding of the year

Well since my last entry our Sarah has got married to Rob. It meant a trip down to Manchester for us all. As we were about to leave for the tedious 4and half hour journey, Cath rings to say that everyone in Burnage has got the runs and throwing up. As Isabelle was going to be a bridesmaid then we didn't want her getting it too. So to avoid the plague we went to Cheshire to stay in Cath & Rich's new pad in Knutsford. It's very nice there and very posh. We did our usual tour of the charity shops and the assistants just looked at us with pity as if we were in need of their chritable help. Its very nice indeed. In the mornings I went for a run to Tatton Park..the local country estate with a magnificent lake and woodland. I went for a call of nature myself and ended up surrounded by deer...and most wrrying was the stags who were growling at me and waving their antelrs. I asn't sure if it was a mating ritual or a message to tell me to sod off. Either way I wasn't hanging around to find out.
Anyway back to the plague...Thursday night at Cath's new house Isabelle decides to get it. Somehow it reached her and she threw up all over the walls and carpet. Better out than in! By Saturday she was fine.

So the wedding day arrived....where were Isabelle's bridesmaid shoes? In Knutsford was the answer...so off I went back to the Cheshire life. It was a fine day and good to see loads of people who we haven't seen for donkeys. All my dad's siblings were there too...a first since my grandma died. Everyone looked older and fatter. I do too but not that much.

So that's the last of the weddings for a while unless Rebecca decides to get married or Emma Beddows! Whilst we were there Sharon & Colin's visas for Oz arrived so it looks like our next family get together will be to send them off unless Rob & Sarah decide to have a baby...the race is on!

Photo: My dad and his siblings. Isabelle & Sarah and us all.

John Muir the movie

Last weekend we had the presentations for the John Muir Award that I ran with a load of youngen's in the summer. I also got the award for being involved. Part of it was making a spoof film about Muir himself. Needless to say it went down well with the kids. In the USA Muir is a hero, not just some local boy as he is in Dunbar. It will be interesting to see how they take it knowing how poor their sense of humour...sorry humor is. Apparantly it was shown here to some important JM people and there was a slight wind blowing in the room as the tumbleweed rolled past! Here's the link if you want to have a look yourself.

John Muir is the Conservator

School Camp

I have recently returned from school camp in the Trossachs. A week with 145 10 and 11 year olds doing loads of outdoor activities. The school have started to trust me enough (or are desperate) to give me a couple of the looney tune kids to look after. I had 10 lads at the start of the week to look after...by the end of the week there would be 8. The first was lost on Tuesday. His contract specified that if he was threatening or violent then he would be removed and put in a cabin with a teacher on his own....the alternative was going home. I just happened to be there as he tried to punch holes out of someone who gave him the wrong kind of look, so off he went cursing me because it was my fault he was in trouble? By Wednesday we had lost another. One kid had been a bit withdrawn and mardy all week. I thought it was because he was a ginger and used to living a life on the edge of things. He was also a bit spotty for a 10 year old...but then that's because he had chicken pox! I am a youth worker not a doctor... how was I supposed to know. Off he went too. I nearly lost another kid on our early morning run. The run ends up on a slide (see picture) which is fast anyway, but in the torrential rain its lethal as one kid discovered when his head nbanged off the sides of it at high speed.

There were lots of challenges like how to avoid Isabelle who was also there. I didn't want to be in her way and stand accused of being her embarrassing dad. Although to be fair if she had seen me on the flying fox or the cat walk she would have been justified. Here is a picture of me on the flying fox looking ridiculous. I also did the cat walk which is basically a beam accross two Scotch Pines about 30ft in the air. I decided that it might be fun to take a picture from up there...but as I stood looking down my legs were like Shakin Stevens performing This Ole House. Isabelle did the pole climb which introduces them to one use of a pole...they save the dancing stuff until they are grown up. It's simple...you climb a pole and jump off and try and hit a big red thing. Talking of poles...the centre was run by them and I take my hat off to their effciency at meal times. Every 3 hours we were given a cooked meal. The kids get hearty portions, but if you are anything over the 4ft 2" then chef thinks your'e an adult and gives you twice as much. By the end of the week I was feeling very lardy indeed. Still all the kids had a good time.

Cross Country?

Saturday was the start of the cross country season. It was a glorious day and a short race to warm us up for the mud, ice, thorns, crap and sludge that lies ahead of us this winter. 4 x 4km relay in Dunfermline. Dunfermline is like Dunbar in that it is rapidly expanding with new houses made by the same firms. Duloch Park was the venue for the race. 12 months ago when Duloch Park was chosen as the venue for the race, Duloch Park was just that....open fields, marshland, etc. Today Duloch park is a new estate and as indistinct as the next one. Duloch Park is now Duloch Muir...5 bedroom luxury houses with a field next to them.
The race itself was quite exciting as you have to get into a pen in the order of your team mates are going to run. Then as your previous runner returns the marshal lets you go and the adrenelin gets you running like mad. It was a tough long and winding road (dirt path) and I lost 4 places to beanpole athletes who flew past me. Eventually we came 28th out of 54 as a team, and I did my 4km in a slow 15:45. I think a bit of work is needed there then seen as the winner did it in 12: 20!

Of mice and men

They're back! Lying in bed at 3.30 am and straight above me I could hear the pitter patter of little feet, scratch scratch and other strange noises. It's the mice. Around about this time last year they graced us with their presence until I terminated what must have been the daddy of them all. I sent Emma off to the hardware shop for some more traps and she returned with an arsenal of devices designed to catch the vermin. None were humane traps and basically consist of the mouse breaking its neck whilst having its last meal. Peanut butter is apparantly their favourite last meal so I tried its on 3 of the 5 traps, and Kit Kat (no pun intended) on the other. The bets were on and by 4pm in the afternoon the kit kat was a clear winner with its first head. However within the next 2 hours SunPat took out 3 more. All has been quiet since and I am worried that I have eliminated Dunbar's population of wood mice. Time will tell, but meanwhile I am enjoying scratch free nights.

Those moles are a pest

Well one week after visiting the docs to have my huge mole frozen...it has fallen off. Somewhere on the floor of my car is a chocolate raisin sized blob, lurking under a seat waiting to jump on its next victim. After several years of my mole getting bigger and bigger on my neck, I decided to give it the chop as it was begining to seap and get so big that looked like tht bloke of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

So there it goes...my first attempt at cosmetic surgery. That itself was quite interesting. Liquid nitrogen on a swab...it gives a little sizzle and stings...but painless enough really. My collar size has now been reduced by 2 inches and I can now consider waring bling!

Ouch!

Every day after school I take Stuart to the park to let off a bit of steam. On Monday he was joining a gang of other 6 year olds in jumping off the 8ft high climbing frame. Things were going ok until a ruffian gave him a push and he landed on his arm. The wail and the white/grey/green face were a good enough to convince me something was wrong. When we managed to get his jumper off the mishapen arm/elbow pointed to a break or dislocation so off we went ot he Sick Kids Hospital in Edinburgh. It really is called Sick Kids...and it refers to illness rather than some sort of cruel sense of humour that they might have....that would be Little Shits Hospital. On entry I was impressed by the efficiency of it all. Before you could say 'x-ray', they had him all needled up and ready, and off he went to be x-rayed which revealed a broken arm just above the elbow...and it had dislodged so was sticking out. Within an hour he was on the orthopedic ward and then in surgery having wires put into his arm and out again before 11pm. This also meant having to spend a night in the hospital and guess what...I got to stay too. It wasn't the best nights sleep I have ever had....a z bed in the middle of a ward full of sick kids crying all night, nurses walking past, beepers going off, shift changes, doctors running in and out, porters banging trolleys and generally everything but quiet. The enxt day Stuart got to choose his 'stookie' (plaster). Gone are the days of chalky scrim plasters being slapped on....now you get to choose your own colour from day glow pink, yellow, purple, blue or camouflage. Needless to say he went for the cammy option. This was too good to be true. The next thing is a play worker turns up...is there anything you would like to do? Playstation or X-Box, DVD's, craft, toys, painting,...the list went on. We opted for Garfield2, the box set of Simpsons, Pirates of the Carribean and then inbetween some model aircraft building and some glass painting. Going to hospital is like going to a them park. Lunch...that'l get em I thought thinking back to my 3 months in kids hospital with a broken leg and a diet of stodge, soggy greens and liver. I was wrong...pizza, curry and chips, fish fingers...custard, juice. This place was too good to be true.
Stuart got home and now his brother and sister are trying to find ways of breaking their arms so they can enjoy the luxury that it brings. I am just going to nick his chocolates!

Pictures:
Stuarts Arms broken and Stuart's new cammy stookie.

Missed Camp Moments No3

Ah well camp is over for another year and it sounds like it all went very well. I am glad it did because I would have been disappointed to see a good thing fade away and regret givign it up. There's one camp moment I don't really miss, and that is packing up the camp into a small garage on the field.
It's the last day and you want to be nice to people but they have been up until the early hours trying to get a snog, breaking into the castle, having some booze and other minor rebellious acts. So they are dead to the world and can't be arsed, I want to pack up and go home quickly and inevitably the clash of these two opposing forces leads to some abusive language and accidental whacking of people's heads with lengths of drain pipes and goal posts. Then there is that moment when you lock the cookhouse for the last time...turn around and find a brush or a set of hockey sticks still lying on the field. Your heart sinks, but they have to be moved. One year I remember it was a bucket full of slops from breakfast. I left it and I happened to be in the area 3 months later and emptied the bucket full of maggots then.
So fareweel for another year...or even forever.

I am in the news today

Today I appeared on the news twice. Well not me exactly, but people with my name.

1. Richard Taylor father of Damilola Taylor the 10 year old murdered in London several years ago. He was commenting on the problem of gun crime and how this nations young men are getting caught up in it. The tragic outcome as we know is more deaths like Rhys Jones.

2. The other is a memorial to Richard Taylor skate boarding legend who snuffed a while back.

Missed Camp Moments No2

My birthday. Apart from one year when for some reason the school holidays finished really early, I have for the last 20+ years always celebrated my birthday at camp. So Saturday was a strange experience waking up in a bed, in a house and not having to worry about what lay in the marquee. If I am honest I hate birthdays. I hate the unwanted attention they bring, I can never really think of anything I need and so what, I am a year older than last year. It is something we can't control and what are we celebrating?...not being dead?
That said I can remember some of my birthdays at camp. My 18th was spent in the Castle in Caernarfon. The castle pub that is. How times of changed...the leader of camp Steve Mathews bought me my first legal pint in there. I remember the journey back to Criccieth being a struggle after spending several hours in the pub. My 21st was a much more tame event. I spent it visiting the Bunny Farm in Llanstumnwy the resting place of David Lloyd George. (just as an aside he was actually born in Manchester but the Welsh think he is one of their own). The most embarrassing brithday had to be the one hung from the marquee with climbing ropes, along with a table to eat my breakfast on. The pull on my 'town halls' made it all a bit uncomfortable and looked even worse. For many years I shared my birthday with Rich Church. Big and Little Rich's birthdays. He must be in his 20's now. I wonder how he is doing?

Missed Camp moments No1

The camp bonfire (last night). Wet feet from walking accross the long dew soaked grass, the mating rituals of campers trying their hardest to get a snog, the strange sensation of a roasting hot front but a freezing cold back.

Trefor's lost something

Has anyone seen Trefor's wart. He had it on his eye lid the other day looking like a chocolate raisin....but now its gone and just a little scab is left to show for it. I am going to have a look in the cocoa pops to see if its fallen in there.

Dunbar the place to be

Just in case i ever doubted being in Dunbar is a good thing, a recent survey has proven it to be a fact. The East lothian Courier picked up on this last week.

Goodbye summer

Yesterday was officially the end of our summer. The kids went back to school. Whilst it has been a good summer, I shall be glad to get into some sort of routine. Isabelle is the worst for getting up. It takes her about 3 hours to put a pair of socks on, so half the day is gone before we can do anything. Then it rains and then it is time for something to eat....and so the day can drag on.

Despite the crap weather we managed to have a good summer. Isabelle did 3 Camps, taking advantage of my 60% staff discount with Scripture Union. We all went to Wensleydale to help Jonny out running the camp there. Lots of flanning and irreverant behaviour. Me & Emma & the boys did a Scripture Union camp. i thought it was going to be a bit boring and old fashioned, but it was suprisingly entertaining. I had a room full of lads to look after who were mainly unchurched and a little bit out of place on an Su camp. The rest of the summer was spent working on various projects and just mucking about locally. The other day we went up to Whiteadder where Andrew tried his dinghy out in the river.

It is the flower show season and on Saturday we went to the village of Oldhamstocks for theirs. Stuart entered various races like the sack race, I did a 1.3 fell run (except it was on the raod because the hill was too wet) and came 4th, and we had considered entering Trefor into the dog show but we were too embarrassed as he keeps getting his knob out in public.

So there it goes...another summer gone. Bye

Pictures:
Andrew in his boat at Whiteadder
Stuart on a tree climb at SU Camp in Kinross
Isabelle making a fire on her survival skills day with the country ranger
Andrew's ridiculous teeth. One of them fell out yesterday!

Let it go

Well it barely seems like yesterday when I faced the misery of leaving Criccieth for the last time in 2006. A year on and I am in the strange position of being here at home whilst this years camp starts without me and under a new leadership. This experience is like a parent letting its child leave home for the first time...hoping it will work out ok and trying hard not to take away their independence. Rory who is leading it has already been on the phone with questions that make me gasp...'do we have to have a leader in the minibus?'.....'we might move the marquee'....(have they spotted that embedded gas pipe where they are about to sledgehammer in some metal stakes?) Throughout the weekend I have been clock watching...4pm Saturday: The campers will be arriving any time now....6.30pm the first meal will be finishing and the teenage campers will be learning how to wash up....9pm evening meeting....Sunday 11am campers service....and so it goes. Yes I am missing it, but then here I am in Dunbar with no regrets at all. The countryside here is looking very good and life in this small community is different. I shall look forward to hearing how the camp went via Facebook and hopefully Youtube and hopefully not via the national news reporting a marquee being blown up, or a minibus full of campers being being stranded in a slate quarry because their minibus driver had a mishap with a bit of loose slagg.
Picture:
Criccieth Camp many years ago. I think the person in the picture is Ellen Millar
North Berwick Law in a sunset last week. It was one of the 2 volcanic formations in East lothian I ran over the summer.

North Berwick Law Race

Last week I did another hill run up North Berwick Law (first picture of the bugger...with Andrew missing a sitter playing against their local team). I had every intention of running it, but as soon as I got on to it I realised I would be walking along with everyone else (2nd & 3rd picture). Anyway, it was more fun coming down than going up it and I got a reasonable time of 25:07 and a medal. The good thing about these hill runs is that they are short and allow for more time in the pub afterwards. The downside is cramp and breathing difficulties all in the name of sport.

Poor Kitti's

An update on the Kittiwakes at Dunbar Harbour. A few weeks back I posted some lovely pictures of fluffy little chicks. Unfortunately for them the Danish have been fishing in our waters and have nicked all the sand eels and other small fish that Kittiwakes depend on. As a substitute they have been eating pipefish...a small fish with a long skeleton that is very bendy. When the chicks swallow it, it gets stuck in their digestion system and prevents it from functioning. Consequently they die. The consequences are that at the start of the season there was around 52 nests and 30+ chicks on Dunbar Castle. Last week it was down to around 15 chicks as all the others have snuffed it. I don't know what you can do about it, but thought you should know!

The 3 Amigo's...amen!

We go to Belhaven Parish Church and they have started doing communion every 2 weeks. They bring the bread and wine to you in these little thimble size glasses. In fact not unlike tequila glasses. Therefore despite it being a very meaningful part of the service and for many a special part, I found myself being reminded of the 3 Amigo's...that great 80's comedy classic. Here is a clip of the 3Amigos in the scene at the bar where they have a drink of tequila. Be warned...once you have seen it you might find yourself tempted to go in to a spasm a few seconds after you take communion wine from one of those little glasses....whatever you do...don't do the 3 Amigo's salute!

Flan'tastic

We all got back from Wensleydale yesterday having served on the CPAS camps there. Once again I spent a week with a load of squeaky kids but the joy of this camp was we got to cover them in flans in a massive big flan fight. It was a good week of catching up with old freinds from Criccieth. Having gone to Wensleydale worried about the state of the toilet after my experience at Scripture Union camp, I was even more concerned to discover i was sharing a cabin with Woody and Pete Hale. Combined they have the potential of causing a bio hazard in the toilet. Fortunately they have both gone all sophisticated and Pete is a wine and whisky connessieur and Woody is an evangelist and is known as 'Matt Woodcock' on the Christian conference scene.
I ended up running anmation workshops as I have discovered how easy it is. I am now sick of the smell of plastercine as I seemed to have spent all week playing with it, helping little kids make their own movies. I will stick them on Youtube for you to see. Our kids had a good time too but disgraced the Taylor family by entering the talent competition with a burp off. This was bad enough, but Stuart beat them all by playing the recorder through his nose. Still these holidays are ideal and if you have kids their age then you would be foolish not to send them on one. Anyway back to work for us all now Booo!

Boys will be boys

I've been away for a while on a Scripture Union camp so Iv'e not had time to post anything. The camp was actually in dorms, although we did get one night of camping out under the stars and in the company of midgies. Despite coating myself in Superdrugs extra strength midgie repellant...which is highly flamable and toxic, the little buggers kept going for me. It was hardly a fun night out as I was in the company of 16 under 11 boys who all had annoying squeaky voices. In a poor attempt to get them tosleep I told them that the game keeper was on the prowl and we had not got permission to be there. It shut most of them up one kid was nearly crying in fear. I was then woken several times throughout the night by a kid sniffing. It got worse and worse and eventually I had to go into his tent an give him some bog roll to blow his nose on. Nothing could be worse than this...that was until I went shopping with them in Perth.
I hate shopping...but with 8 lads my patience was being tested. First stop was the 99p shop where they bought loads of junk for their mums...but later gave it to the girls in an attempt to woo them. They also bought guns with rubber bullets. Guess who was being pinged by them all day? The rest of the day was spent touring sweet shops and toy shops. One kid downed a bottle of Lucozade Sport and Red Bull before my eyes. Needless to say he was climbing the walls for the rest of the day. Another had a flumpy foam sword. It was actually a giant kebab stick with marshmallows of all shapes and sizes stuck on to it to make it look like a sword. I had to confiscate it as he was lying in his bed eating it at lights out. And whilst we are moaning about kids...you should have seen the toilet. Their aim was well....piss poor! So poor that rarely did it make it to the loo and the puddle around it got bigger and bigger, forcing you further back. I think it was around 12 ft away from the actually toilet at the end of the week.

Anyway all that said we had a good week and our kids enjoyed themselves. Check Stuart's tree climbing pictures out. What a lot of these kids lacked was the space to muck about without some health and safety witterer jumping on them. We tried to do as much of it as we could and at the same time talk to them about God...a happy balance i wasn't expecting from SU. meanwhile Isabelle went off on another SU holiday in Crieff. She also had a great time without her annoying brothers. next week wer'e all off to Wenslaydale for another camp of a similar style. I think I will take my wellies for the loos this time. Here's the highlights film 2007 and also killershoes

Here kitti kitti!

Emma thinks I am a geek because I spent Saturday morning watching some birds. Dunbar is home to 'the most accessible Kittiwake colony in the uk'. I was passing it on my bike and saw all these real geeks photgraphing them. I went for a closer look and they were very 'accessible'. In fact you could spit on them, although it is more likely they would pooh on me. Anyway the little kitti chicks have hatched and are all fluffy. There was loads lying on the ground. Obviously not good at flying and the big seaguls eat them. I saw a herring gull swallow one whole after it had killed it by shaking it violently. So I went home and got my camera and anorak and snapped some shots myself for your pleasure. If you are really interested you can watch Kitti Cam....live footage of them on Dunbar's Castle. http:// Kitticam

Jolly Holly's

Whoo hoo! The schools break up on Friday. 7 long weeks of 3 kids getting bored in the house as summer is not happening. Tonight I have the end of year prom to go to at the primary school. Yes even the Scottish schools have latched on to the American way and have prom nights...but for 11 year olds? I am told some are arriving in stretched limo's. I won't be, i will be on my bike but I might put a shirt on or something for the little munchkins and do my Basil Fawlty impression in the ceilidh.

The end of school year also points to how old I am feeling. Isabelle only has one more year in Primary school. Many of you will remember her birth...so you can join me in feeling the bite of age.

I expect my children to be good swimers by the end of the summer. Dunbar pool is free for kids all summer holidays. That's my activity programme sorted....send them off to the pool. Next week is my first Scripture Union Camp and first camp since giving up Criccieth. I really hope our worlds don't clash as they sometimes do in Christian youth work and I frequently found people squirming at some of the stuff we did at Criccieth. Later on in the summer we hit Wensleydale to be reunited with Criccieth leaders of past and present to run a camp there. I am quite looking forward to it al, but will be missing camp at Criccieth. By the way...there's still places so if you know any 15-19 year olds who fancy a good holiday get them booked in.

Fantasy Football

Andrew has got over the disappointment of not being given the player of the year award again at footy. On Saturday he played in the Under 9's Soccer 7's tournament all morning. It's ok for him running around keeping warm...but what about the parents who had to stand in the freezing cold rain all morning? Anyway he knocked up 12 goals and I was ready to go home and warm up when the coaches approached me asking me if he could play in the afteroon too. One of the teams in the Under 10's tournament had dropped out so Andrew and the other good players were entering as underdogs. They beat Dunbar's own Under 10 team 5-0 and got a couple of other victories that put them in the final. The winning streak stopped there losing 3-1 but they were applauded by the Under 10's eating humble pie and came away with medals they had worked hard for.

Photo: Andrew in his early days of football.

My phone stinks

I had a little mishap with my mobile phone the other day. I got up 1 minute before my phone alarm was due to go off so I took it with me for a pee as it was far too early to work out how to change the settings. There I was in mid flow of early morning dew when I dropped it. Trying to juggle a phone and keep an aim is very difficult, easpecially in the dark. There was a loud PLOP! I looked down just in time for the splash to reach my face...and there was my phone in the loo. Instinctively as if the phone was a drowning child or something I reached in and rescued it. It was a race against time but I knew it was touch and go when the only sound it made was a slow hum as it slipped permanantly into vibration mode in slow motion. Before long the lights faded and the phone was dead....I had a face full of pee and my arm had just been down the toilet full of warm yellow stuff. Anyway 1 day later after being put on the life support machine of my airing cupboard, it's working again. Everything is fine but my ear smells of wee!

Up the Law!

I did my first fell run yesterday up the local hill called Traprain Law. It was 6 and 1/2 miles, 724 feet climb and descent. This is a hill that is rich in archaeology. People were being buried there 1500 before Christ and at points in the race I thought I was going to join them. There is one bit where you have a rope (or if your a mad Scotsman barbedwire) to pull yourself up. To your right is a big drop into a quarry that the Victorians made. On the way down I lost my footing and narrowly escaped landing on my backside. We also had to wade through a river and climb through a barbed wire fence. This is all done for fun believe it or not. Anyway I did it in 47 minutes and I was cheered on by the local kids who I had taught earlier in the week. These fell runners are like goats the speed they run up hills. But look how skinny they are. I am stood next to them looking obese compared to some of these Lowry characters. I think I might go on a diet!

What a load of bull!

Went for a run last night in training for the Traprain Law race on Saturday. It's a hill so I headed out to the hills near here and ended up in a cow field with cows and calfs. I know they can be a bit moody (no pun intended) when they have their little ones beside them so I gave them a wide birth. Unfortunately this brought me into the path of a frisky bull. I had no option but to run as fast as I could as both the bull and the cows were making a move on me. Fortunately I am better at jumping fences than they are and i got away. Still the sprint was good training even though my shoes are covered in pooh (bulls not mine).

Missing Links

I have put a couple of links to my Flcikr photos and my Youtube films so that you can get even more bored. I decided that it cost nothing to put them up, so why not. They are on the right on 'My Profile' bit.

Knickers

I forgot to mention the funniest thing at the palace was seeing this woman walking back from the toilets with her dress stuck in her knickers. Sadly Emma had the camera at that point so I couldn't capture it. Some old biddy ran up to her and pointed her problem out. 'Better me telling you than Prince Andrew' she said.

The Palace

Saturday afternoon was all a bit surreal, we spent it at the palace. Not the Palace club in Levenshulme where I was once caught by Daily Sport photographers doing Bar Bungee with one of their page 3 girls, but Hollyrood Palace in Edinburgh.

Me & Emma got an invite from HRH Prince Andrew to spend the afernoon with him at his garden party at Hollyrood Palace in Edinburgh. Why? No idea other than this was the start of the General Assembly, the Church of Scotland's big annual knees up. Apparantly they invite lay people who do stuff for churches so that the clergy can get to meet some real people. It was bad timing as it was the FA Cup Final at the same time, but given the result and the slow pace of the game I am glad I didn't bother staying in to watch it.

So we arrived at Hollyrood in our jeans as we had been out all morning. The army were doing the gate and tried to turn us away until we flashed our invite to them. Then we had to get changed in the car whilst all these posh knobs wandered around in their hats. After getting past the next security gate by showing our photo id, we entered the grounds and headed straight for the marquee where sandwiches, tea and cakes were on offer. No crusts on these butties! and at an event full of clergy the caterers must have been having a laugh by including cucumber sarnies. There was quite a collection of kilts, hats, military uniforms, dog collars and national dress. I opted for my trusty suit (weddings, funerals, job interviews, court, etc) whilst Emma dazzled them all with an expensive frock! (£6 from the charity shop in Haddington actually). We noticed some plain clothes security guards trying to blend in, and the the Hollyrood Constabulary (the palace's own police) were begining to get into line so something was about to happen.

I took position as close as I could get to them. There was no security barrier so I'd say I was about 2 feet away. Then the Duke appeared. Not sure how long he would be around I took the opportunity of him standing still during the national anthem to get my snaps. He then wandered right over to me and started chatting to the woman next to me so I kept snapping away. Emma decided to startt alking to the Hollyrood Cops...asking them what she would need to do to get beaten by them with the big sticks they were all carrying. Here we both were just inches away from the future king (well if Charles and his kids were all killed in a road accident in a Paris tunnel or something) and a bunch of blokes who looked like morris dancers were the only thing between us. Then I looked around and the plain clothes boys were right behind me...and were right behind me for much of the afternoon. So off we went for a wander around, snapping away getting shots of a building not normally open to the public. We ate a few more sandwiches and cakes, chit chatted to a few people and then headed off. It was as I was snapping some shots of the military band that the cops moved in. 'Excuse me sir, you are not allowed to take photographs in the palace grounds'. Oops,good job I was leaving then.

So the photos you see here are top secret and must not be leaked to any Royal contacts you have or I will end up in the tower!

Photos: 1. me looking really interested. 2. Emma and the lovely sandwiches! 3. One of the Trumpton morris dancers. 4. Me & Emma in Dr Who's royal TARDIS. 5. HRH Duke of York who apprantly has 10,000 men who he climbed a hill with.

Dunbar Methodist Church

I have been taking the primary school kids to visit Dunbar Methodist Church. It's the oldest Methodist Church in Scotland and Wesley himself preached there 21 times. It's a facinating building that keeps revealing its secrets. One of them is behind the organ. In the days of old the organ was hand pumped by a wee laddie stuck in a secret room...well box next to the organ. If you look into this dark space now you can see that the wee laddie obviously got bored in the services and had a turn at graffitti. You can see his name and various dates etched onto the wall if you shine a torch in there or take a digital photo as I did. The writing in the photo is in complete darkness. I hope that was of interest to any Methodist historians. Its well worth a vist and Betty and David are great hosts. See

The visit got me thinking back to my experiences of church organs. In the 1980's when we were being subjected to GrahamKendricks soul raising hits like 'Shine Jesus Shine' and 'Make Way Make Way', and the organ was seen by me as obsolete. The guitar and the pan pipes was the new kid on the block. To assist in my theory, me and Smithy decided it would be fun to switch all the pipes around at the back or the organ. It was an innocent act of vandalism but one that would have been amusing to hear. Basically the low keys now played high notes and vice versa. Because some of the organists were so bad it probably took a few months for them to realise what was wrong. After they brought in a specialist to fix it we got our knuckles well and truly rapped. it could have been worse....we had considered putting ping pong balls in the pipes so they would pop out when the organ played.

Tri Harder

Well that's my first triathlon out of the way. It was probably the most challenging physical thing I have ever done but I was pleased to come away with a prize. In 14th place I was the 2nd fastest local male in the North berwick triathlon. I have never won a prize for my attempts at athletics so it made it all worth while. E-bay let me down and my trisuit didn't arrive so I had to do it in my trunks. As you can see from the photos I look just like Daniel Craig in Bond. To be honest I was concentrating more on not dying than my modesty. On the bike I was determined not to fall off and the thought of buttock grazing kept me safe. The bike bit was my weakness. I thought I was doing ok but people kept waving at me as they flew by me. Still I caught the losers up on the run bit. I will probably do another one but it has to be said that triathlons are very middle class, they are expensive and there is more than the average population of tossers involved in it. Here's the resultsresults and some pictures of me.

Tri Hard

Isabelle did her first triathlon the other day. It was the Dunbar Junior Triathlon and although she was one of the slower racers, she came in first for Dunbar girls. All the rest were outsiders who need to get on the Playstation a bit more and do something less healthy. It was for 10-16 year olds, but one contender actually had a beard (see photo... a ginger beard at that...you'd think he would try and hide his hair colouring rather than wear it on his chin). Anyway she won some money so I decided to put in for my own race next week. Training has been hard and having thought about the idea of running in my Speedo's I decided to buy a triathlonsuit off E-bay. It's a bit of a gamble as I have no idea what size I should get, and I am not convinced I will look any less offensive than my ball bulgers and a pair of trainers. We will see? Watch out for the results here North Berwick Triathlon

Ding a ling

The bikes arrived yesterday and it struck me that it has been around 15-20 years since I rode a bike on a regular basis. Anyway new toy and all that I went out and did an 18 miler this morning to break it in. I was ok on it, but when I got off I was walking like John Wayne as my bum cheeks and inner thighs were as stiff as you can get. Before the week is out I will be cracking wallnuts between my buttocks! There's a triathlon in 2 weeks in North Berwick that I might do, but the thought of cycling in my speedo's and then running is not one I or anyone watching me can look forward to...especially if it is cold....I might stick a pair of socks in!

Spotty

Chicken Pox is doing the rounds. Stuart got it and was tortured by it all last week. In 10 years time his back will look the same again, only this time with big yellow heads when he gets acne. Talking of which Andrew and Isabelle are doing sex education at the moment. Andrew tells me that a womans bum is called a vagina and there's something just above it that begins with a 'C'. That'll be curlies!

Cars

I have been having a bit of bother with the car. I parked it outside a mates house the other day over night after a party and when I returned to get it the next day it had moved about 3 ft. On closer inspection I discovered it had been the victim of a hit and run. Both the back and front were a mess. I was about to drive off when it struck me that this is Dunbar and maybe...just maybe it would be worth reporting. Dunbar police station is the very thin blue line. So thin it makes Kate Moss look like the vicar of Dibley. 'Oh yes i think someone reported that at 5.30 am' said the cop trying to give the impression there had been numerous crimes commited that night. Sure enough it had been reported and the registration plate recorded. I didn't expect to hear anything more other than they had no insurance etc.

A week later this bloke turns up at our house. 'I think my son crashed into your car. I want to pay for any damage.' After pinching myself I realised this was a bloke from one of the churches who I had once met. Anyway, to cut a long story short he coughed up and paid for the damage...well to have it written off as its not economically viable to have it repaired. So now we are down to 1 car and 1 wreck on the drive. If anyone wants a Ford Fiesta for scrap let me know. The hunt is on for a bike now and me and Emma are getting his and hers bikes.

Other visitors

If you come and visit us then you will get a mention here. Well not much else goes on around here so when we do have visitors its the highlight of our month. Earlier in the month, before Col & Shaz visited we had Rory come and stay. Rory is supposed to be taking over running camp from me, but he has been hit by a mysterious illness and might not be able to. Anyway he came up to recover in the peace and tranquility of a house with 3 screaming kids and a yapping dog....and the 12 hour coach journey home . He was a star and it was like having an aupair for the week. Despite the rumours and gossip of what was wrong with him, he seemed ok and the gangreen on his limbs and dreadful flakey skin condition were just talk. He still does have a large head though (physically not egotistically) but so has our Stuart!?! Hopefully we will see him again soon...and others. let us know if you want to visit it would be nice to see you (depending on who you are....if your surname is Smith then don't call us we will call you). Photo is of Rory trying to teach us the game of cricket.

White, Red, Blue, Purple and Red

Sunny Dunny lived up to its name this week. The thermometer reached 20 on tuesday, although it never accounts for the windchill factor. Sun, beach and sea...all the ingredients needed for a swim. It took about 2 minutes for Stuart to strip off and take the plunge at Skate Raw Harbour, closely followed by Isabelle and Andrew. The surf was good too. Whilst we were there their skin colour went through several changes. White (Scottish people's skin is whiter than Daz and Ariel put together), Red as the blood began to circulate in the icy waters, Blue as they began to freeze, Purple as they got hyperthermia, Red as they get sun burn.